


not half the man you think you are

by JeziBelle



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Phil is done with everyone's shit, Phil is done with your shit, angry monologuing, especially Ward's, if that is not your thing pls move on, this version of Ward is an unapologetic bad guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 09:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1644521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeziBelle/pseuds/JeziBelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Coulson has always believed in redemption. He still does. He also knows exactly what it entails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not half the man you think you are

"Earth tones, huh? Better than SHIELD's usual digs."

"If you're trying to get me to reveal any kind of information whatsoever about what or where this facility is, quit bothering." The body armor was starting to itch. Phil rolled his shoulders a bit, which did nothing, and decided to ignore it.

Ward didn't respond. Phil quietly thanked whatever celestial being was still on his side for that. Something Asgardian, possibly, but having been on the quite literal business end of Asgardian political disputes before, he somehow doubted they'd bother, even if they were able. Maybe he'd just thank the FBI for allowing a representative from their team to come along when they locked Ward up. Nobody was feeling particularly trusting after the last time.

He made eye contact with the accompanying federal agents and gave them a brief nod, stepping into the cell. Ward might be able to take him hand-to-hand, but unless he'd picked up a Centipede implant along the way, and was somehow _very_ good at hiding the pursuant super-strength, Coulson and two feds would be able to stop anything he doled out.

Ward was very, very good at hiding things. The cell door stayed open.

"So what? No Captain America speech about how disappointed you are in me?"

"Considering how the rest of Captain Rogers' encounters with your organization have turned out, I don't think he'd give you that speech himself. Frankly, the only reason I'm here is because we needed confirmation you reached your cell, and I'm the only person from our team with the restraint not to put a bullet through your skull instead."

Ward managed a hurt look. "Even Simmons?"

"Especially Simmons. Though I doubt she'd do anything so merciful as just shoot you."

Ward gave a little shrug, hands still shackled in front of his waist. "Well, here I am. Tossed in my little dark hole to learn my lesson, since I'm not good enough to get the 'good in everybody' talk. Or human enough, or whatever the criteria is, or--" He stopped short, coughing loudly. Apparently Melinda was only partially kidding about his larynx.

Phil Coulson was a man known for his patience. He was quickly reaching the end of it. "The criteria is _wanting_ to change, Ward. How many hands got held out to you? I don't think May ever cared to give you a second chance, but Fitz _wouldn't shut up_ about it. He wanted with all his heart to hear you ask for our forgiveness, and got put in a coma for it!" He couldn't help his fists clenching as he stepped forward. "That's how you repay people who give you a chance and you expect _anyone_ to ever do it again?"

Ward took a breath, his eyes narrowing.

"Not a _word_ from you! You don't think we went over the security footage from the Bus? You don't think we saw those two kids begging you hysterically for their _lives_? Saw you choose the plausible deniability of 'just following orders' over people who trusted you, who _cared_ about you? Because you'd rather hurt as many people as you have to than face the responsibility of making a call! Of having _any_ kind of moral standard for yourself! You couldn't even do _their_ work without someone else to blame it on! You're not even evil, Ward, all you are is a _coward!_ "

He was close to screaming now. Ward's expression was carefully blank. Phil was finding it hard to care.

"Yeah, I do think anybody can be redeemed. Even you, if you wanted, but you _don't_. What you want from me isn't redemption, it's forgiveness. You want to come back and have everything be okay again, like everything you've done never happened, and that's not redemption. Redemption is accepting responsibility, accepting the possibility you _can't_ make up for what you've done, and trying anyway. Redemption is a man with the blood of thousands on his hands throwing himself into space to protect a planet full of people who still think he's a selfish asshole. Redemption is Natasha Romanoff throwing her rap sheet to the dogs, bringing every agency in this country down on her own head to save the lives of a populace that wants her tried for treason! Knowing it might not work, knowing everyone you ever hurt might _still_ hate you, and doing it anyway, because it's the _right thing to do_."

Slow, deep breaths. Phil forced his hands to relax. "But you didn't want that. You didn't want it on the plane with Hand, when you could have let Garrett hang like he deserved. You didn't want it when you came back to Providence with information in your head that could have helped us save hundreds of innocent lives. And you didn't want it on the Bus when two people who were proud to call you a friend and partner were begging you for mercy. You only want it now. When you've lost. When there's no hard decision, there's no possible gain to turn your back on. You don't want to be redeemed, Grant. You don't have the conviction for it. You just _don't want to be in trouble anymore_."

He paused to let his heart rate slow. Ward said nothing, but in his meager defense, didn't dodge Phil's gaze.

"Well, I'm afraid that's not an option. You're going to spend a very, very long time here. Alone, without any of the twisted excuse for love or appreciation or purpose that Garrett gave you, and certainly nothing close to the real thing."

He took a couple of steps back, standing in the door. "If you're looking for forgiveness, I'm afraid we're fresh out. You want redemption? _Get to work._ "

Ward finally spoke, then, his voice hoarse. "And how precisely am I supposed to do that from in here?" He didn't sound particularly sold on the idea. Phil wasn't suprised.

"You can start with full cooperation and disclosure when you're interrogated. That process will begin in a few days." He smiled cordially. "Granted, our pool of agents qualified for the job is pretty small right now, in no small part thanks to you. But I'm sure Agent Romanoff could stand to blow off some steam."

He nodded sharply to the poor federal agents, who looked equal parts scandalized and baffled, and turned to walk back down the corridor.

The cell door clanged shut with an empty, ringing finality.

Phil didn't look back.

**Author's Note:**

> I know pretty much everyone has an opinion on whether Ward wants, deserves, or should get any kind of second chance. Mine is pretty much aligned with Phil's here. If yours is different, that is fine, but please don't leave comments yelling at me about how wrong and mean I am to your precious woobie, I've gotten enough of that on Tumblr.
> 
> Title from Madonna's "Sorry".


End file.
